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The Funniest Jokes Told by 20 U.S. Presidents

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John F. Kennedy: What Nixon can do for your country

It was far too easy, but he went for it. “Do you realize the responsibility I carry?” President Kennedy once joked during his presidential campaign in 1960, “I’m the only person standing between Richard Nixon and the White House.”

 

Lyndon B. Johnson: Taking the piss out of politics

It has been said that President Johnson had “the manners of a barnyard dog,” so this joke is definitely not surprising. ”Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg?” he once asked economist Kenneth Galbraith. “It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.”

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18 thoughts on “The Funniest Jokes Told by 20 U.S. Presidents”

  1. Regina M. Stach

    I have always loved Harry Truman’s joke “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog”. I can’t help but feel that there’s some truth in that.

    1. Best joke ever told was during the Reagan-Mondale debate. “I will not make an issue, for political purposes, my opponents youth and inexperience “

  2. My favorite is this:
    In the famous Lincoln-Douglas debates, when Douglas accused Lincoln of being two-faced, Lincoln replied, referencing his homeliness, “Honestly, if I were two-faced, would I be showing you this one?”

  3. Don’t know if this is exactly considered a joke but certainly a truism. Warren Harding said “It’s not my enemies who keep me up at night; I know who my enemies are, but it is my friends.”

  4. Theodore Roosevelt boxed each morning before he went to work. He was very energetic and he took steps 2 at a time.. Citizens would wait for him to run up the steps.. he once said “God Bless America, death to her enemies.”

  5. I questioned the P.S. about Martin Van Buren being the first American born president…..so I checked it out and ALL the presidents before him were born in America. I went back and re-read it to see how I’d gotten it confused. I hadn’t….it clearly says that Van Buren was the first American born president. What gives??

    1. Weston Welker

      The previous presidents were born while the country was still part of Great Britain, making Van Buren the first president to be born after we became a nation

    2. You’re thinking America as in North America. I believe they’re stating he was the first born in the United States of America, which was not yet a country when the first presidents were born.

  6. You’re thinking America as in North America. I believe they’re stating he was the first born in the United States of America, which was not yet a country when the first presidents were born.

  7. Agapito S. Lorenzo, M.D.

    President Truman said “If you become WEALTHY while holding elective office, you are a CROOK”!

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