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The Funniest Jokes Told by 20 U.S. Presidents

Just Viral Editorial Team · Apr 2, 2020 · 127K views
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John F. Kennedy: What Nixon can do for your country

It was far too easy, but he went for it. “Do you realize the responsibility I carry?” President Kennedy once joked during his presidential campaign in 1960, “I’m the only person standing between Richard Nixon and the White House.”

 

Lyndon B. Johnson: Taking the piss out of politics

It has been said that President Johnson had “the manners of a barnyard dog,” so this joke is definitely not surprising. ”Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg?” he once asked economist Kenneth Galbraith. “It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.”

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18 responses to “The Funniest Jokes Told by 20 U.S. Presidents”

  1. Pam Hunt says:
    Apr 13, 2020 at 12:39 am

    I love Thedore Rosevellts. It’s still true

    Reply
    • Dominick Schook says:
      Dec 19, 2020 at 12:10 am

      Teddy Roosevelt once said “God Bless America, death to her enemies”.

      Reply
  2. Regina M. Stach says:
    Jun 5, 2020 at 2:14 pm

    I have always loved Harry Truman’s joke “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog”. I can’t help but feel that there’s some truth in that.

    Reply
    • Ken says:
      Jun 6, 2021 at 3:39 pm

      Best joke ever told was during the Reagan-Mondale debate. “I will not make an issue, for political purposes, my opponents youth and inexperience “

      Reply
  3. John Lovitt says:
    Jun 5, 2020 at 9:35 pm

    My favorite is this:
    In the famous Lincoln-Douglas debates, when Douglas accused Lincoln of being two-faced, Lincoln replied, referencing his homeliness, “Honestly, if I were two-faced, would I be showing you this one?”

    Reply
  4. Thomas Elofsky says:
    Jun 6, 2020 at 10:46 pm

    LBJ was one of the most down to earth president with a dry wit that could say things that were downright crass in a smoke-filled room of diplomacy.

    Reply
  5. Debbie Pahl says:
    Jun 10, 2020 at 4:14 am

    I like Truman’s “If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.”

    Reply
  6. James Jordan says:
    Dec 17, 2020 at 1:35 am

    Van Buran

    Reply
  7. raymond John Mattes Jr says:
    Dec 17, 2020 at 2:07 pm

    Don’t know if this is exactly considered a joke but certainly a truism. Warren Harding said “It’s not my enemies who keep me up at night; I know who my enemies are, but it is my friends.”

    Reply
  8. Mark Z. says:
    Dec 18, 2020 at 4:53 am

    Truman had the funniest joke.

    Reply
  9. Dominick says:
    Dec 19, 2020 at 12:16 am

    Theodore Roosevelt boxed each morning before he went to work. He was very energetic and he took steps 2 at a time.. Citizens would wait for him to run up the steps.. he once said “God Bless America, death to her enemies.”

    Reply
  10. Terry Stone says:
    Jun 6, 2021 at 10:07 pm

    James Madison. “I always talk better lying down.”

    Reply
  11. Jerry Joyner says:
    Jun 7, 2021 at 12:39 am

    I questioned the P.S. about Martin Van Buren being the first American born president…..so I checked it out and ALL the presidents before him were born in America. I went back and re-read it to see how I’d gotten it confused. I hadn’t….it clearly says that Van Buren was the first American born president. What gives??

    Reply
    • Weston Welker says:
      Jun 7, 2021 at 6:34 pm

      The previous presidents were born while the country was still part of Great Britain, making Van Buren the first president to be born after we became a nation

      Reply
    • Ed Null says:
      Jun 8, 2021 at 6:26 pm

      You’re thinking America as in North America. I believe they’re stating he was the first born in the United States of America, which was not yet a country when the first presidents were born.

      Reply
  12. Linda Raider says:
    Jun 8, 2021 at 12:22 am

    My favorite joke and President in this group is Ronald Reagan

    Reply
  13. Ed Null says:
    Jun 8, 2021 at 9:16 pm

    You’re thinking America as in North America. I believe they’re stating he was the first born in the United States of America, which was not yet a country when the first presidents were born.

    Reply
  14. Agapito S. Lorenzo, M.D. says:
    Jun 11, 2021 at 7:29 pm

    President Truman said “If you become WEALTHY while holding elective office, you are a CROOK”!

    Reply

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